Glad I could be of assistance. And if you're reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. May 26, 2021 by Emma. Why, is it on sale? Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. This shows that you are confident and secure in your relationships. Im trying to imagine you with personality. We all spring from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! Some of the most beautiful women in the world have large foreheads and their doing OK. Look at Rhianna, rocking it as one of the major sining talents, she doesn't let the 5head comments get in her way. I want you on the other side of it. Ever feel like you just don't know how to speak up for yourself? Don't brag about a good comeback to the person you used it on. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Cookie Notice 3. 18. (this is a reaction already, though)if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-leader-2','ezslot_8',124,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-2-0'); Contentment is a great attribute for developing confidence. Your family tree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. 1. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? ago. Even if I did, it's better than having both a small brain AND a small dick like you. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I thought of you today. 96. There are so many paths in life. Youre so right. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. 22. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Me neither. The kind and number of friends you keep in your circle are more of your business than theirs. And Im leaving early. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Make a mental list of comebacks for different subjects. A relationship expert has said having sex on the first date can be beneficial. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: The best comebacks make you look mature. 100. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Help! If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. The best comebacks taste as sweet as revenge when used appropriately, but we know how hard witty comebacks are to come up with when youre put on the spot. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. I hope you stay there. 47. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. 62. Your brain is working overtime today. Go have a redbull Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? Who do you think I am? This kid will say stuff and doesn't really know what that means. Here are some great comebacks for when someone makes fun of your looks: I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. he shot back. What did you want to be when you grew up? At least I am still better looking than you! "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally. Somewhere out there, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! ago. I farted. Best Deez Nuts Jokes | Best Yo Mama Jokes I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Theyll find this collection of roasts hilarious! "Get a life LOL" "Like yours? Jealousy is a disease. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. 24. Then I met you. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. Then youve landed in the right place! This is a witty comeback you can give to someone who says to you that you have no friends and expects you to feel like you are missing out. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Ditch the outfit. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? Let them know that you have chosen not to react to their remark because you consider it toxic. Before you came along we were hungry. When you are pregnant, sometimes people will want to comment on how young you look. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. Privacy Policy. Watch popular content from the following creators: Comebacks . ", You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window.". I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. You're on MY land! On the contrary, you are focused on building quality friendships. A pain in the ass? I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. 2. 78. Lets start with your bank account. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. By then, you will see other ways to make the issue about them and not you. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Good Comebacks in an Argument 1. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. 69. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. We think of you when we are lonely. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. People like you are the reason Im on medication. 33. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. 3. 27. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Yeah, you are fluent in lies 5. People like you are the reason Im on medication. You tell me. Which means you're just as hard to remove. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. 28. Whered you get your clothes, girl, American Apparently Not? However, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people. So asking the person what is wrong with you not having friends will naturally prompt the person to start explaining why he or she said that. Then why are you all up in my. No, not thereeverywhere. 89. Well, there is scientific evidence to prove that people with bigger heads are more intelligent. Don't feel bad if you have a big forehead. You sound better with your mouth closed. Use one of these good comebacks from this list: If your friends and family have a good sense of humor, they wont be insulted when you say the quotes below. You can take advantage of this and make them know you dont admire having people like them around as opposed to what they may be expecting from you. Dont blame me for your stupidity. Me: Singing along to Fleetwood Mac. 30+ Baddie Comebacks to Insults 1. Enjoy! Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Please, save your breath. 5. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Ill never forget the first time we met. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. I will have to lie to myself about liking you if you insist in accepting you as you are. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. So, you will see in this article a wide range of phrases that you can keep in your back pocket to serve as a snappy comeback to when someone says to you 'did I ask?" . 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes This must be the first signs of old age. Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Go back to wherever you came from! Dont worry. Im pushing this conversation to my daily trash bin, 24. Now we are fed up. Believe me, I dont want to make a monkey out of you. Yes, I'm saying your date is a blow-up doll. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of Natural Disasters.. Own it! I am returning your nose. Get well soon." 2. Thanks for the advice, now go get a life yourself. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. We've all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. Chances are they wont have anything to say because theyd want to agree to disagree. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. The case is even worse when you feel you do have friends, but not as many compared to others. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? 70. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Its the sound of me not caring. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. RELATED:30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Worry about your eyebrows. You'd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. More than you. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. It just smells much better than you. 13. You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? Youve got something on your face. 3 4 4 comments Best Add a Comment Icy_Wave7089 1 yr. ago That's what your mother said about you That makes two of us Now I see why I attract such a loser like u That's what came up in your Mri report You must be so tired to come up with such a genius comeback on your own . Then forget the "your mom" and "your face" rants and follow these steps: ask them is that all you got? How many languages? Your only purpose inlifeis to become an organ donor. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. 34. 76. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! You better take care of it, dear. Dont you think Im pretty now? Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: I was today years old when I realized I didn't like you. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. 59. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. Now, he's very intelligent. 99. Again, you can make the remark more about them and less about you by turning the table. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. 30 Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Cry Baby by Admin We know that when one is called a crybaby; it is because they exhibit traits relatable to babies, which includes crying often. 86. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. That's not what your mom/bitch told me last night. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. You hit the nail right on the head. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 265,636 times. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Source: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/what-to-say-when-people-make-fun-of-your-big-forehead/. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. 95. Make sure you commit these to memory. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Guy: Id like to call you. Dont worry about me. Whered you get your clothes, girl, American Apparently Not? Never try to explain your comeback if they don't get it, it will just ruin the moment. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Best Knock-Knock Jokes. 54. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. 46. 43. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. Minimum-Ingenuity550 9 mo. I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. Were you born on the highway? The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. His name is Dudley. Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it. Yourfamilytree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count.
comebacks for when someone says you have no brain
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